A Year of Fools: part 4

An Equius x Human! Reader insert fan made work of fiction



Chapter 4


You


    In the end, the light fixture never gave you an answer to your conundrum, over what to do about your feelings towards the overly muscular troll.  So when you had woken up the next morning, you came to the inspired decision to do nothing.  You were a teenager, crushes come and go, and you would just have to wait until they left you!  Apart from your arm screaming in agony for a month, you felt pretty damn good about the decision, even though your arm hurting had pretty much nothing to do with it...

    Today was Saturday, about a month after the car incident; your bruise was almost gone, and you were going to spend the whole day with Equius and Nepeta.  You meet up with them and go and get ice cream from a local parlor, you take them outside and sit on a bench in the park to eat the creamy confectionary.  Most people would say it’s too cold for ice cream, but you say fuck those guys, any weather was fine for ice cream!  

    You were sitting on the bench next to Equius; he was sitting really rigidly, his face set into a hard stoic expression, with a steel bowl of blue cotton candy ice cream balancing on his hand.  You were almost positive he only got it because it was blue; you don’t think if he even likes the flavor, he doesn’t seem like the sort anyway.  You licked your (f/ic) ice cream in silence, relishing the chilling feeling going down your spine.

    You sighed dejectedly, these feeling of yours were rather irritating; you wanted to lean on Equius and hug him just to make him uncomfortable, but you knew he took personal space pretty seriously, even more so since you were only a ‘disgustingly lowblooded’ human.  Plus...you wanted to for selfish reasons too, and that would needlessly hurt yourself in your current emotional state.  You also felt more flustered around him, which was flat out bizarre for you.  You were pretty sure that both Equius and Nepeta knew about your feelings.  Goddamn emotions.

    You instead decided to examine his face, it was strong and chiseled, his mouth was a hard line and his hair flowed down his back inviting you to touch it.  It almost seemed like his face was carved from stone though, he was so unmoving; his complexion even matched!  Then you saw his horn, gleaming, right there next to you...No, you couldn’t do that!  Focus!  As you stared at him though, you had to wonder what his eyes looked like; you know troll eyes match their blood color, so his eyes would be a dark blue.  That wasn’t the same though; you want to see them for yourself!  

    You stretch yourself up, straining to see his eye past the post of his glasses.  You couldn’t see anything though...then you saw his horn again, beckoning you with its lovely orange color...Gingerly and sneakily, like a rock to the face, you reached your hand up wanting to feel the alien appendage.  He suddenly turns to you though, and you jump, falling off the bench in surprise.  He just raises an eyebrow at you.

    “Are you experiencing some type of human seizure?”

    You laugh nervously flailing your limbs about before jumping up, yeah you were totally not having a seizure.  Nepeta leaned forward, so as to see you past Equius’ large form; she raised an eyebrow at you as well, and you found yourself becoming more flustered.  GOD DAMN CRUSH!

    “No of course not, I was just a bit curious about something is all!”

    He raises his other eyebrow at you, expecting you to elaborate on your curiosity; instead you laugh loudly and obnoxiously to try and cover yourself.  You notice a movement behind his head and stopped laughing abruptly to focus on it, it was a squirrel.  You grin and start trying to sneak up on it.  It was clearly a dumb idea, but what can you say; you’re a sucker for cute and fluffy things.  Nepeta and Equius watch you curiously as you try to sneak up on the adorable little furry creature.  It sees you easily and runs up a nearby tree.  You slump over feeling a little dejected.

    “Aw…it got away…”

    You were staring down at your hands feeling a bit sorry for yourself, when Nepeta came over to you.  She was grinning widely; in fact she looked rather smug.  You look at her and raise an eyebrow, what did she want?

    “Aw (y/n), you’re lots of furn to hang out with, but you really suck at stalking prey!  Allow me to demonstrate!”

    Nepeta then ran into the tree before you could say a word.  Without anything else to do, you looked over at Equius to see him face palming; you could imagine him sighing at the extreme foolishness that was occurring right in front of him.  Nepeta returned within minutes holding her hands out to you, she was grinning so widely, you could see all of her pointy little teeth.  Her face was positively beaming at you with pride, and you couldn’t help but feel a tiny bit suspicious...Strangely curious though, you held your hands out hoping to see a squirrel, that would probably bite you and run off again; what Nepeta put into your hands was not what you had wanted though.  

    She put a warm, furry, and bloody body into your hands; she looked so pleased with herself too...The squirrel was in fact, dead; his neck was broken, and was lolling at a weird angle.  There was blood oozing out of it coating your hands in the warm liquid.  Your heart was palpitating at an alarming rate; you thought it would shoot out of your throat.  You stared at your hands shocked, waiting for realization to sink in, and then screamed a little.  Your hands were shaking violently; you felt so angry and hurt, almost betrayed.

    “WHY DID YOU KILL IT!?”

    Nepeta flinched back, confused by your yelling.  You hadn’t meant to raise your voice, but she had just ended the life of an adorable creature, and then plopped it into your hands, like it was the most natural thing someone could do.  You felt tears gather in your eyes and you hung your head down gritting your teeth in anger.  The cat troll bent over your hunched form, reaching her hand out to touch your shoulder.
“I thought you wanted to eat it…”

    “NO! I DIDN’T WANT TO EAT IT!”

    You raised your voice an octave higher, you were practically screeching at her, and it caused her to snap her hand back from you.  Her voice was small and filled with nothing but confusion.  Is this what trolls were like, is this what they did?  You were sure you were overreacting, but this wasn’t fair.  Every life, no matter how small, holds meaning.  You curled into yourself even more, cupping the lifeless body of the squirrel to your chest, fighting the urge to cry.  You were shaking uncontrollably, and you squeezed your eyes shut as your vision started to blur.

    “You didn’t have to kill it…I just wanted to hold it…”

    You wished your voice wasn’t shaking, you wished you could be strong, or at least unaffected by the death of stupid animals.  Yet you couldn’t, you identified too much with the beast.  It was just going about its day, when out of nowhere a hulking green monster breaks its tiny, fragile neck.  It woke up this morning not suspecting that its life would end...this line of thinking was not helping you.

    You hear footsteps crunching in the carpet of dead leaves and dried out grass.  In front of you was a pair of heavy cleats, looking up you saw Equius’ face, highlighted by the autumnal sun.  As he glared down, the breeze picked up his hair and gently blew it towards you before settling back down.  You could have slapped yourself for feeling attracted to him right now.  

    You glared up at him, hoping you at least looked angry, and not weak.  You didn’t want him to think you were weak, which was stupid because you knew that compared to him, everyone was weak.  Why did you even care?  Oh that’s right; god damn crush, on a god damn troll!  What would he even say to you about this?  


Equius


    You watched, fairly perturbed, as (l/n) started running after a nutbeast; you did not believe this was normal human behavior.  She was so bizarre and thoughtless with her actions.  You had noticed a change as of late though, she seemed more nervous around you, and didn’t act quite so foolish as often as she used to; you believe she is finally starting to understand your supremacy.  Although...you cringe to admit that in a way, you miss the days where she challenged you; now a days, she is quicker to back off.  

    You watch as the nutbeast ran away from the girl easily and she looked down forlorn.  You frown, what was the appeal to catching a beast?  You didn’t like to see her upset though; it made your bloodpusher twist with unfounded feelings of pity.  

    You were loath to admit it, but you may have been a tiny bit flushed for the disgusting human.  She was loud, obnoxious, disobedient, foolish, crass, and bereft of any manners or respect!  Yet when she laughed and challenged you, it made your bloodpusher soar, and when she looked so defeated, you wanted to tell her to be strong and continue fighting.  It was both perplexing and infuriating.

    Nepeta jumped up from next to you and decided to get the nutbeast for the human, maybe then she would smile and laugh foolishly again.  You almost smile at the thought of her foolish actions, it was seriously sickening for you to feel like this about a human...but at the same time, you didn’t really mind all that much...You close your eyes and sigh resting your hand on your face, these feelings were ridiculous, it was debasing to say the least.

    You were sitting there enjoying the quiet for once and trying desperately to rid yourself of such conflicting emotions when you heard a short scream and yelling.  Opening your eyes, you stand up and walk over to where (l/n) was huddled on the ground.  She was shaking holding the lifeless body of the nutbeast to her chest.  Your blood pusher twists with pain and pity, it was killing you to see her upset.  Just as much as it did to admit you felt anything for her.

    You look down at her and she glares at you, you can see the pain though; she won’t stop trembling, her bottom lip is wobbling, and her eyes are sparkling with unshed tears.  You are suddenly filled with anger and turn to Nepeta seething with rage.

    “Nepeta, your thoughtless actions have hurt her!  Apologize at once!”

    She looked guilty and confused by your sudden outburst.  At the bottom of your thinkpan, you knew you shouldn’t be taking your anger out on your moirail, she was only doing what she thought was best, but you were far too consumed by anger to act rationally.  Carefully, Nepeta approaches the shaking girl and kneels in front of her, her head was bowed again.

    “(y/n)…I’m really sorry, I didn’t know….please furgive me…”

    After a long stretch of silence, she stood up suddenly, her face hard and cold.

    “I’ll forgive you later…I have something to do right now.”

    Her voice was shaking, but every word was clipped and cold. She carefully carried the dead nutbeast to the tree he had run up into just minutes before.  She sat on the ground and placed the nut beast off to the side, before she started clawing at the ground with her bare hands, the dirt mixing unpleasantly with the blood of the nutbeast.  You were perplexed again.

    “What…are you doing?”

    “It’s a human tradition; you would probably think it’s foolish, so I won’t bother explaining it to you.”

    When she had created a small hole in the ground, she laid the body of the squirrel in it with shaking hands, and covered it up with the dirt; she found a flat stone and laid it on top of the new mound of soil.  Then she just sat there and stared for a minute or two, before finally getting to her feet.  She turned around and took Nepetas’ hand, turning her to where she buried the nutbeast.

    “Apologize to him.”

    She had pretty much growled at her, and she was glaring quite heavily, almost daring her to not.  She may have looked quite frightening if the expression wasn’t filled with sadness.  She was clearly hurt on a more personal level by the nutbeast’s death.  Nepeta looked confused and stared at (y/n) waiting for her to elaborate.  She just continued to glare with a shaky bottom lip, until Nepeta finally closed her eyes and sighed deeply.

    “I’m sorry fur killing you nutbeast…”

    She sounded confused by the point of this, you had to agree.  You didn’t have any idea what was going on at the moment, you could also tell that Nepeta was insincere, but could you blame her?  (y/n) didn’t seem to care about that though and smiled and hugged her tightly.

    “Thank you, I forgive you.”

    Then she broke away and danced, with that smile plastered on her face again.  You were curious and confused, why did she do that?  You could tell that she was still quite upset, so why did she cover it up with that smile?  It was normal for humans to mourn the loss of someone close, correct?  Even though it was just a nutbeast, humans wouldn’t think less of her for being upset...so why?  Why did she smile like that, even though she still looked so hurt?  Nepeta looked just as confused as you felt.  (y/n) simply laughed lightly, albeit a little shakily.

    “I think that’s enough excitement for one day, let’s head back now!”

    You all walked back to your hive stem, (y/n)s’ forced laughing and giggling ringing the whole way.  You and Nepeta were silent for the most part, Nepeta giggling a little in an effort to play along.  The human followed you inside and saw Nepeta off with you, and then she followed you to your apartment.  Before you could go inside however, she stopped you, grabbing your arm gently with her tiny hand.  You looked at her, her head was down and she was shaking slightly again.

    “...Is there something the matter?”

    “There is...something I need to tell you…I need to tell you now before I lose my nerve…”

    Slightly intrigued now, you turned to her fully, looking questionably at her.  She suddenly launched herself at you, capturing you in a hug.  She had her legs wrapped around you and was squeezing to hang on, her head was buried in your stomach.  Surprised you tensed up and just stood there, looking at the top of her head.  Your mouth was hanging open at this...utter disregard for personal space, it made you feel sick!

    “I’m so tired of this!  Alright cards on the table, I like you a lot more than as a friend!  Would you go out with me?”

    You raise an eyebrow at her, you honestly had no idea what was going on right now.  You did not like her touching you though.  It was highly improper of her to be touching you in such a familiar way.  Plus, if you moved too suddenly, you could easily break her limbs.

    “I do not understand, we were just ‘out’.”

    She was silent for a moment, just hanging onto you.  You stood there quietly, waiting for her to extricate herself from you.  She pulled away suddenly laughing, her face was red.  

    “Of course, you’re right!  Silly me!  What was I thinking!?”

    She ran off for the stairs, before you could say another word.  You wonder what that had been about.  It was rather unusual, even for her.  You sigh and go into your apartment, only to see Nepeta squealing and giggling on the floor.

    “...Nepeta, I have told you before that you should not break into my hive through the air vents.”

    She did this so often, it didn’t even surprise you anymore.  Nepeta stopped rolling around to sit up and look at you; her face was flushed with joy.  You wonder what had her so excited.

    “But Equius I couldn’t help it!  I wanted to see what (y/n) wanted…And now I do!  Oh it’s so purrfect!  My ship is finally setting sail!”

    Oh, she was going on about shipping again.  A most foolish endeavor you thought.  She stopped smiling suddenly and jumped up latching onto your face, glaring angrily.

    “Or it would be if you hadn’t clawed it up!”

    “W-What?”

    You were not used to seeing her so upset although it did happen; it was rare for her, but in those moments, you at least knew what you had done wrong.  You raised your eyebrows at her to convey your complete confusion.  She continued to glare angrily at you, and then sighed and slid to the floor.

    “I’ve had you two on my shipping wall fur weeks now; we both know you feel flushed for her!  Well that just now was the human equivalent of confessing flushed feelings, and asking to be matesprits!  And you just brushed her off!”

    You blink a few times, she felt flushed for you?  You were baffled, she had given no indication that she felt red for you, if there were any solicitations there at all, you would have said black!  You felt flushed for her in kind...but...she was just a human!  You barely knew her!  

    “I…require a towel…”

    Nepeta sighs and hands you one that was on your table.  As you attempt to mop up the sweat that has gathered on your brow, Nepeta glares at you.

    “Now here is what you do, the next time she comes ofur, spend some money to take her to a movie or something!  She’ll be so pawsitively surprised that she’ll have to become your matesprit!   And I’ll stalk, uh...stay here!”

    You raise an eyebrow at her.  It’s not that you didn’t trust her, but she did become overly excited about the state of everyone’s quadrants.  She had a bad habit of becoming personally involved in other people’s affairs.

    “You will stay here?”

    She rolls her eyes at you.

    “Duh!  You can’t get to know each other propurrly if I’m hanging out with you too!”

    Oh dear...you liked (y/n) quite a lot you will admit, you may even feel flushed for her, but she was a human after all...what if you hurt her?  What if she left you?  What if you killed her?  As you continue to sweat and panic, Nepeta looked up at you with sad clear eyes, and a small smile on her face.

    “Calm down Equius, she’s already flushed for you, what’s the worst that can happen?  Efurything will be fine.”

    You were thinking of all the things that could possibly go wrong, all the ways you could hurt her with your incomparable strength.  It should be fine though, as long you do not lose yourself and indulge in too much horseplay.  As long as you show restraint at all times, nothing can go wrong, you would do this; even for a human like her.  

    There was another thought that plagued you though, at the back of your thinkpan...You hadn’t known her for very long, and humans were a race full of deception and lies.  Was it possible that the girls ‘confession’, was just a way to mock you even more?  You shudder to think of it.